Here are some of the things I have learned about life in London over the last few months.
One of the most frustrating things is when people don’t understand me. I'm speaking English!! The following words are the worst offenders:
- Pret (as in Pret a Manger which is probably the most important word on this list)
- Bread
- Egg
- Ed
- Brett
- Lollies
Transport
The District line will also be slow and will randomly change final destination and will stop at Earls court for 5 minutes for no apparent reason.
To get a seat on the tube stand in the middle of the seats – not by the doors.
Do do not talk on the tube. Do not make eye contact. Especially between the hours of 7.30am to 10am and 4pm to 8pm, Monday to Friday.
Always stand on the right of the escalator at tube stations…unless you’re drunk and with Brendon.
Luton is the worst airport to fly from. Stansted is second. Never get an early morning flight from those airports or an late evening flight in. It's not worth it. One day I will get a flight from the mythical London city airport. One day.
I still don’t know which side of the footpath to walk on! Make up your mind people! Can we all agree to walk on the left?
Boris bikes. New Zealand needs these asap. You pay to hire a bike from one of a million bike stands around London, and then return it to another bike stand near your final destination. Brilliant. Even if I am too scared to use them.
Life in the London wilderness
You can drink alcohol in public (in most places) – park drinking for the win.
Bookshops are the greatest. Stanfords is my favourite...or Daunt in Marylebone.
Animals hang out in pubs. That's one of my favourite things about London.
Going to the doctor is free. The dentist is cheaper than NZ. The museums are free.
The supermarkets are amazing but I still can’t afford to shop at Waitrose. Precut stirfry mixes are the best. Morrisons is underrated.
It’s really hard to stop hanging out with Kiwis and Australians. But it's nice to be around people who get your humour.
Post codes are, like, an actual thing that people use and know off by heart.
Monthly pay. Budgeting is hard!
Food
The fish & chips are terrible compared to NZ.
The indian food is terrible compared to NZ.
Coffee. Terrible. (Ok fine, this is through sheer laziness - it's just that little bit harder to find good coffee).
Beer. Terrible. Thank god for Punk IPA the one shining light. Why do they like warm, flat ale?
Pub roasts and sausages and mash - amazing. Oh man I'm so hungry. What’s the deal with Yorkshire pudding though? It’s literally nothing.
Pumpkin. Why no pumpkin? Butternut squash soup is not the same.
Pizza – ridiculously expensive. It's like £15 for one Dominos pizza. For Dominos. However, Dominos makes Pizza Express look good.
I rarely see scones. I was led to believe this to be the land of the scone but the only time I can recall seeing them in cafes is in the Cotswolds. I thought I was going to be living on cheese scones. I need a Mojo feta and chilli scone stat.
Weather
It’s cold. It's dark. I miss Christmas. I miss summer. Why is it so miserable yet, on paper, the winter seems not as bad as Wellington. There are no howling gales or horizontal wind. Is it the darkness???
Vitamin D pills are essential.
I have no immune system and have been sick constantly for the last 6 months. I'm going to blame this on the weather.
Summer is sweaty. I’m getting a hand held fan for the tube this summer, that's for sure.
The air is shit. Black stuff comes out your nose after being on the underground. Whenever I travel elsewhere make sure I breathe a lot of fresh air.
London is the best
But, right now, I wouldn't change living in London for anything. There is always something to do and it's amazing. The to do list never ends, and the biggest problem you have is whether to do something in London this weekend, or fly for a quick break to Europe. I do crave peace and quiet and the countryside, but, I've got the rest of my life for that, right?